"My aching heart is learning to believe that being a mother is not my ultimate happiness. I understand, in a way I never did before, that this world is not a place where we will feel eternal joy. When the people of God finally stand before Christ, who took the punishment for their sin, they will feel the fulfilling, eternal joy that they long to feel here on earth. God has not promised those who belong to him a quick and easy road to heaven, but he does get us there, he promises. Until then, he’s assured us he is “near the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18)." -- Lisa Blanco, "It Was Not Wicked for the Lord to Take Our Son"
This blog post (linked above) brought me to tears. This woman who lost her baby has an incredible "theology" of suffering and was willing to share it on a blog with a bunch of strangers. I pray that whatever my future brings, I could have this kind of bedrock faith! This kind of "only Jesus matters" thinking. I just can't get over that quote, "being a mother is not my ultimate happiness." I think this may have been her only son. Right now I have several girlfriends in my life who are having children, not having children, married, and not married and wanting marriage.
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Yesterday I spent some time with a married friend who's been waiting for over a year and a half to get pregnant. And no baby (yet!). She shared how Mother's Day this year was emotional. But she also shared how she was amazed at how God provided many, many Christian friends' (some who she hardly knows) words of encouragement the entire weekend: text messages, cards, prayers. People who don't even know her situation fully. She was praying for a baby, but instead she got a bigger view of God this weekend. It was amazing listening to her recount the details. And the Lord reminded me - when He doesn't answer our prayers the way we think they should be answered, it's because He has something better to give us: HIMSELF.
"Be assured that God's answers are wiser than your prayers." ~William Culbertson
"You may not always get what you ask, but you shall have your real wants supplied." ~Charles Spurgeon
Reading from John this week, I was meditating on this encounter with Jesus: [11] But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb. [12] And she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. [13] They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” [14] Having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. [15] Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” [16] Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned and said to him in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher). (John 20:11-16 ESV)
I was thinking -- what must that "Mary" have sounded like, coming from Jesus? Can you imagine the tears she cried when she thought He was gone forever? And then seeing Him? Actually seeing Jesus, risen!
"Christ was there for her, and his coming was the banishing of her sadness...The whole point of the resurrection at this level is that we can meet Jesus today -- true, not precisely in Mary's tangible terms, but through the Spirit and by faith. And the encounter can be no less life-changing. Triumphant over death, he is alive for ever...He still comes to transform broken, sorrowing and fearful lives with the sheer uninhibited gladness of discovering Him, alive and with us." --The Message of John by Bruce Milne
I see how Lisa Blanco and my friend are discovering Jesus in their suffering. Wow!
I love that phrase -- "the sheer uninhibited gladness" of discovering Jesus. I am praying for several friends (and myself) to get this view of Jesus. To rediscover Him, to know Him better, to really really know Him and the power of His dying on the cross for us, and the power of his being raised for us.
