As I walk through life, and remember my life seven years ago at this time, I'm reminded of a very happy day. It does sound just like a fairy tale. April 3, 2005 - the day that Bill asked me if I was interested in a "serious dating courtship relationship type thing." I remember that day, because I thought he was coming over to tell me that he WASN'T interested in me in "that way", and that he just wanted to be friends. It was spring. At the time, I lived in an apartment on the third floor of gigantic old house in Oak Lane. There was a gorgeous magnolia tree, in full bloom.
I read Proverbs 3:5-6 before Bill came over.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
During our awkward conversation, he noticed my open Bible on the table and asked me what I was reading. By the end of the conversation, I told him that I wanted to "think about it." Poor guy, I didn't even give him a solid answer! A month later, I gave him a solid "yes" and, to be super-cliche, the rest is history :)
I don't like saying this is my "favorite" Scripture, but I think it just might be in the top five. It's also sung by a band I love, Sixpence None the Richer.
This is a song I sing to Grace at bedtime. We also danced to this in our wedding. It always brings peace.
As I walk through pain in life, I have often totally missed who God is FOR me in suffering. I agree with Lauren's thoughts: "[God] he isn't champing at the bit to [bring pain into our lives]. At the heart of suffering is God's steadfast love." So often, I go back to this "guess I'm on my own" perspective. I completely forget about God, and I despair.
The Lord's been reminding me lately how dangerous it is to "lean on my own understanding." My understanding is super limited, and often self-centered, not God-centered! During a "storm", I often don't see that, but a few days later, I'm seeing it, and I'm thankful and humbled.
Reading Psalm 130 yesterday really encouraged me. Especially verses 7 & 8, where the reader gets a clear picture of God's character.
"O Israel [God's beloved children], put your hope in the LORD! For with the LORD there is steadfast love, and with him is plentiful redemption. And He will redeem Israel from all his iniquities."
God loves steadfastly, and God forgives plentifully. He never "punishes" his children by making them suffer! As I see that in print, I wonder -- how do I ever let myself believe otherwise?! -- but I'm a sinner, and it happens!
I never "get it right" by running TO God in suffering. But: JESUS got it right FOR me. And I'm redeemed, forgiven, and loved even as I mess up and fail to run to Him.
Thank You Lord, for giving me a precious husband to support me, encourage me, and care for me -- and who is really, really good at pointing me to You.
