Just continuing some thoughts on helplessness . . . It is dangerous to live life apart from God. Especially in trials. If my eyes are fixed on my pain more than they are on Christ, I am headed for major despair. But if I, by His grace, choose to turn my eyes to Christ -- in the middle of pain -- Jesus calms my heart.
I'm learning that the throne of Grace is always open to me. Even if I feel despair, feel like I'm at the end of my rope -- none of my feelings can overwhelm God. It's okay to write a psalm of lament. It's okay to tell God I don't like the way life is playing out for me right now. It's better that I'm honest with Him, and real and gritty than to pretend I'm okay.
The real me (the angry, confused, mixed-up me) has to meet the real God (the faithful, steadfast, loving Father that He is.)
Psalms like Psalms 10 and 88 are in the Bible for a reason. God knows sorrow. He knows it, He understands it.
I am helpless before God. Dependent: a little girl with my Father. But, I often want to run the show, tell the story, get the glory, and have an easy life. But this is not the way of my Father. I am slowly learning that He alone gets the role of Storywriter. And me being helpless and sometimes downright clueless, makes for a much better relationship with Him. It's the way He designed it: I'm the dependent one, He's the Dependable One.
I'm not thankful for the pain I've gone through from the trials, but I am thankful for how God is showing me His character. I'm thankful for my husband Bill. Even as I go through what to me, feels like a roller-coaster, he often says, "but that's so good honey. I'm glad God is showing you that." :)
I'm thankful for Jesus. Thankful that He is my Intercessor, even when I run out of words. Redeemer, Healer, High Priest. Thankful that I can draw near to Him. He loves me enough to rebuke me and then woo me with His presence when I stray from Him.
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When you give your life -- your problems, your past, your mess -- to Jesus, He not only forgives your sins, but He gives you true healing.
